Wario Press Conference
(A crowd of people are chatting. Soon, there is silence)
Wario: "Hello-a, you rotten people out there, it is me, Wario! (Laughs loudly) Wahahahahaha! And I'm-a got something important to say, so pay attention, or I smack you. (Giggles) Heeheehee! My newest video game-a, WarioWare Incorporated, Mega Microgame-ses, is-a brilliant. Of course it's-a brilliant; it's-a starring me! And, I'm-a coming out with another new game: Wario World! (Giggles) Heeheeheehee! Also brilliant, also starring me! Oh mama mia... thinking about this makes me so excited, I just want to smack-a somebody! Come here, maybe I smack you! (Giggles) Heehee! My new game puts me on Nintendo Game-a-cube-a. Oh yeah, I'm on top of the world-the now, oh yeah! Now, I am on every game-a system, just like I should be; watch out Mario! I'm-a takin' over now, baby, and I am only getting-a started. Mama Mia, Wario almost forget! Wario World and WarioWare Incorporated feature Nintendo exceptional connected game-a-play. Mama mia! Doesn't that just blow your tiny little minds? Pop! I knew that it would. Well what are you waiting for, you punk-ses? Stop messin' around, start reportin', get up there, sell the game-ses, make-a me rich! (Laughs) Wah-hahahaha! And have a rotten day. (Raspberries) Thbbbbpht. I'm-a such a stinker. Okey-dokey. Shut up and start asking questions!"
(Reporters call for Wario's attention)
Wario: "All right, you! the ogley guy in the pink-a shirt!"
Louie: "Yeah, it's me, Louie, from the Diamond City Herald. Yo, Wario! What makes you think that your new company WarioWare Inc. will be a success?"
Wario: "Wha- are you cuckoo-crazy? What are you buying? Everything I'm-a do turns to success! I'm-a brilliant. Everything I'm-a touch turns to green and gold! Security, take that loser out of here!"
(Reporters call for Wario's attention)
Wario: "All right! Uh... yeah you! That short guy with the glasses."
Polly: "Yes, this is Polly from the Club Sugar Daily News. In your new game, Wario World, your money turns into monsters. What's your grand plan for getting it back?"
Wario: "Well, I've-a got a question for you too, Polly. Want a cracker? (Laughs loudly) Wah-hahahahaha! Ah-hahahaha! I'm-a so funny, I've make myself laugh! (Laughs loudly) Ah-hahahahahah! Seriously, in this game, you've got to use my impressive body and mental genius to battle a bunch of idiotic monsters, and turn them back into treasures. I'm-a not-a worried at all. I'm-a gonna stomp-a those dimwit-ses, and-a suh-mack around like they're little bugs. Smack, stomp! Smack, stomp! Ooooo... they will all fear... Wario! (Laughs) Ah-hahahahah! I hope I make you scared too, Polly. Ah!"
(Reporters call for Wario's attention)
Wario: "Wow, humma-humma ding-a-dong! How about you there, babe-boo-licious babe? (Growls) Rehrrr!"
Lindsey: "Hi Wario, this is um, like, Lindsey from WNN, Wario News Network."
Wario: "Oooo, hello, babe-boo-licious."
Lindsey: "Hi. Um, so, like, in Wario World, you're starring for the first time in 3D. Like, is this more exciting than in other you've been in?"
Wario: "You better believe it, baby. Of course it is. 3D offers more Wario for everyone to admire and adore, and worship. (Growls) Ehrrr! I'm-a also look-a so groov-a-licious on that screen, mama mia! You'll all gonna be so jealous watching my moves! Admit it, all you losers out there, you already wish you were me! (Laughs) Hahahahahahah! And you babe-boo-licious babes wish you could all be with me, eh? (Growls) Rehrrr!"
(Reporters call for Wario's attention)
Wario: "Yeah, you, the beanpole!"
Stewie: "Uh yeah, Stewie, from, uh, DCBNTV, Diamond City Broadcasting Network."
Wario: "Uh-huh?"
Stewie: "How do you feel about the over-the-top wrestling-style moves that you have at your disposal in Wario World?"
Wario: "Well really, no different than I usually feel: powerful and great, and basically the coolest guy in the world, able to smack somebody! Now, tell me something, Mr. Louie. How would you feel if I'm-a SMACK-a you? Smack! Smack! Come back here! Smack! Smack! I'm gonna to smack you!"
(Reporters call for Wario's attention)
Wario: "Yes, my darling?"
Stella: "Yeah, I'm Stella from Me Magazine."
Wario: "Humma-humma ding-a-dong, you sure are."
Stella: "Wario, now that you have your new castle, what's next?"
Wario: "Well, I'm-a gonna fill it with some more treasures, what else? My castle is gonna rank-a number one. Just-a like-a me, (Chuckles) heh-heh! And then maybe you like to come up and uh, see it, uh! Uh, play with my golden coin-ses. (Giggles) Heeheeheeheeheeheehee! Maybe I put-a spaghetti meatball sauce ALL over you. (Laughs) Hahahahahah! Okey dokey."
(Reporters call for Wario's attention)
Wario: "You, the hunny-wunny, (Growls) Rehrrr!"
Greta: "Hi, Wario, this is Greta from richestoricher dot com." (I don't think I am getting the address right)
Wario: "Hello, Guh-reta."
Greta: "Hello. Will you ever be financially satisfied?"
Wario: "I'm-a don't know. Will you ever be... as enchanting as me? (Laughs) Hahahahahah! Nobody is!"
(Reporters call for Wario's attention)
Wario: "Ah, you, the short guy!"
Stan: "Yeah, Stan, SDRFM Radio, Sugar Daddy Radio, Stan the Man. Wario, What do you really think of your rival, Mario?"
Wario: "Well, Stanny-the-nanny, you are a real cuckoo-crazy mind to ask me the question like-a that! You looking for a good smacking! Mario... Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes... now there's another guy who's looking for a smacking. (Imitating Mario) Hello, it's-a me, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoe Mario! Urrrgh... he can't hold a candle next to me! He-a wishes he were me! He-a want to be powerful like-a Wario! But he never will. Ooooo... hey, Stanny-the-nanny, remind me to SMACK you later on!"
(Reporters call for Wario's attention)
Wario: "Next?"
Skip: "I'm Skip, from the Diamond Inquirer. Hey Wario, any special lady in your life?"
Wario: "Naaah, come on! Who has-a time for women these-a days, eh? Besides, there are plenty of babe-oo-licious babes begging to get a piece, of-a me. But I'm-a too fabulous to be bothered. The only lady in my life, is cold hard cash: Miss Gold Coins. Oh yeah, oh yeah, Miss-a Gold Coins."
Wario: Okey-dokey, enough of these idle chit-chat. I'm-a gonna back to make-a my money. Have a rotten day! (Raspberries) Thbbbbpht.